


My R

by Demi_Red95



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dont worry things will be ok, Good Deceit Sanders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, characters briefly mentioned, unbeta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 07:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17442269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demi_Red95/pseuds/Demi_Red95
Summary: Virgil was tired of everything. Truly he wants it all to end. Now if only he could actually get there and not have someone already there before him...





	1. Chapter 1

Virgil Blakemore was tired, it was simple as that. High school was too much, his family was horrible, and no one was there for him. He quietly walked up the stairs to the roof of a building. He just wanted it all to end.

 

When he got up there and moved to take his shoes off, he noticed that someone had already gotten there. His voice seemed to take over before his brain could.

 

“Hey! Don't do it please!!!” he shouted and watched as the person turned to look at him. It was…. Roman Prince? Why was he up here?

 

“ _ Wait, why do I even care?? _ ” Virgil thought as he stood there. If anything he was more pissed off that his opportunity was gone.

 

Roman looked away and laughed sadly, tears in his eyes. 

 

“You know, you've probably heard this before but…. I really thought that he was the one. He was amazing and everything but… He decided he was done and left.” he said and curled up a bit. Virgil stared and anger grew within him. 

 

“For god sake please! Are you serious?!?!” he shouted and Roman looked over at him in shock. 

 

“I can't believe that for such a stupid reason you got here before me!!” Virgil moved closer and gripped his shoulders. 

 

“Are you really upset because you couldn't have someone you wanted? You're lucky that you've never been truly robbed of anything!” he said and shook him a bit. Roman stared at the boy in front of him. 

 

“You're Roman Prince. You have so much more to live for. There will always be someone out there that's better for you then one stupid guy. Don't let one sad memory hurt you” the boy said and hugged the other. 

 

“.... I'm feeling better. Thank you for listening” Roman said and gently hugged back. Slowly he let go and waved to Virgil before walking away, going back down the steps. 

 

Virgil stared out into the area. He watched and made sure that Roman had fully left before sighing. Today wasn't the day. It felt wrong now after that happened. 

 

He turned away from the edge and slowly made his way back down the stairs as well. He'd come back tomorrow…..


	2. Chapter 2

Virgil shook as he held a test in his hands. He had tried so hard but still managed to fail. It hurt so much to try so hard for something and still lose it all. Tears swelled in his eyes as he walked up the familiar staircase to the top of the building. 

 

“ _ Alright, today's the day _ ” He thought as he moved, toeing off his shoes. Virgil stopped though when he looked up and saw someone there. A short boy wearing some type of light blue polo. Internally Virgil sighed, because of course someone got here again.

 

“Hey, don't do it!” he said as he walked over. The boy looked at him, bright blue eyes filled with tears. 

 

“Patton Heart? Why are you up here?” Virgil asked and the boy sniffled softly. Patton moved his glasses and wiped his eyes. 

 

“I-I….. It's just, no matter what I do, everyone seems to ignore me. I try so hard to make people happy and smile, but they just make fun of me. They steal my things and laugh. I-I don't fit in anywhere with them!” he said and cried once more. 

 

Anger filled Virgil's body like it had before. “Are you kidding me?!” he said and grabbed Patton’s shirt, pulling him back to the other side of the roof. “You got here before me for that stupid reason!? Who cares what people here think! You still have your family right?! They love you and you always have dinner waiting for you!!” he said. 

 

Patton froze as he listened. His family  _ was  _ always there for him. His mother would hold him if he was upset, his father making silly jokes to help him start laughing. It was because of them he even learned how to bake. They never stopped him for loving the things that he does. 

 

“I'm hungry” Patton said as a tear slipped down his cheek. He hugged Virgil tightly before moving and walked to the stairs. He needed to call his parents to tell him how much he loved them.

 

Virgil watched from the top of the rooftop sadly. He knew that his own home would be empty when he got there. His own parents were barely ever around, and when they were, it was terrible. 

 

He sighed quietly and pulled his shoes on. “What is going on? First Roman, and now Patton.” Virgil shook his head. It was whatever, he'd just have to try again later.

 

Apparently though, it seemed like the world hated him. Every time he went up to the roof there had been someone there.

 

Remy, the boy that always looked so tough, but was more tired of everything. 

 

Emile, a taller boy who had a love for all things cartoon, and was picked on for it.

 

Logan, one who always acted as if he had no emotions and was constantly called a robot. 

 

Even Dorian, a boy who Virgil knew very well, who many times had gotten made fun of for his skin discoloration.

 

Each person Virgil stayed and listened. Everytime he made sure that they knew that the future held something better for them, which made them thankfully walk away. 

 

But sadly, none of them ever seemed to notice that Virgil was always there too. That there was a reason he walked up those stairs every day. No one there to listen to his own pains. 

 

In a way, he wished just once someone would turn back. That they'd ask him what was wrong. But who cared about the boy in the purple jacket?

 

No body…..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I ever saw an animatic of this with the sides, it always had Logan normally. I wanted to change it up a bit because in a way I can understand how Patton would feel in this.


	3. Chapter 3

School was as loud as ever as Virgil walked through the halls, hood over his head. He tried to drown out the noise with his music though, which helped him a little. School, home, everything was so loud. It was just too much noise…..

 

As he walked, Virgil glanced over to see Roman and Patton together. They were laughing about something and holding hands. A gentle smile slipped onto his face. So he had been right, for both of them. That was good at least, knowing that he was able to do  _ something  _ right for once.

 

As he walked out of the school and to the familiar building that had seemed to call for him, he missed the way a pair of two toned eyes looked to him.

 

\----

 

Virgil climbed up the stairs, as he had now many a times. His arms ached under their bandages that he had fixed this morning and slowly opened the door. His eyes widened as he stopped and stared at the person that stood at the edge. 

 

Familiar purple and green eyes stared back at him. Ones that were dull of life and had shown how many times this had been done. He wore a purple jacket. It was…

 

Himself…..

 

“I just want to stop the scars that grow, everytime that I go home” the illusion said softly as he looked to his bandaged wrists. 

 

“That's why I came up here instead….”.

 

It felt as if the world suddenly stopped. Everything went quiet as Virgil stared shocked at the other. His mouth opened and moved to speak words that he didn't even believe. 

 

“Hey… Don't do it please…..”. 

 

Tears filled Virgil's eyes as his body shook. This couldn't be happening. He had no right to tell him to not jump. He fell to his knees, shaking his head, as the tears fell.

 

“Pl-please! Just go away so I can't see you! Your pitiful expression is just too much for me!!!” he cried out. The illusion stared before giving a gentle smile.

 

“I guess today's just not my day…” he said before petting the real Virgil's head and walked off, disappearing. Virgil sat there sobbing. If he couldn't even tell himself not to jump, then what hope was there?

 

\----

 

The next day Virgil didn't even go to school. He knew if he did, and waited until after school then there would probably be someone there again. So when he got up, he threw on his jacket and shoes, pulled his headphones on, and walked quietly out of the house. His parents were somewhere, but he didn't know, nor did he care. They didn't care about him, so why should he do the same?

 

He walked through the town, watching everything go by. Today was a good day. The sun was high, no clouds blocking it. There was a gentle breeze that ran gently through the air. Virgil smiled at all of this.

 

When he reached the building, the teen took a deep breath and walked up the steps. It almost felt like the walk was shorter than ever. It was something.

 

When he reached the top Virgil smiled. There was no one here this time. No one to interfere or get in his way.

 

He took his headphones off, placing them with his jacket. Carefully he climbed over the railing and looked outward to the sky. 

 

“ _ Finally _ ” He thought as he let himself lean forward. 

 

“ **NO!!!!** ” A voice rang out and Virgil was suddenly being held by someone. He looked back to see and was shocked.

 

“Dorian?” he said as the arms tightened around him.

 

“don't do it…. Please Virgil. Why didn't you say something? Anything?!” Dorian said as tears fell down his face. Virgil looked at him and sighed as he allowed himself to be pulled back over.

 

“How did you know I was here?” he asked softly as he looked to Dorian. Dorian looked at the purple haired boy upset.

 

“I had overheard some others talking yesterday” he said and looked at him. 

 

“They talked about how a boy with purple hair and a black and purple jacket seemed to have helped them. It got me thinking when you came to help me when I was here.” Virgil was a bit shocked as he listened. 

 

“So yesterday I waited here for hours to make sure, but I never saw you. So I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't come back. But…..” Dorian bit his lip and looked at him.

 

“When I saw you weren't at school, I knew something wasn't right. I didn't care about school and came straight here” he said and hugged him tightly once more. 

 

“I'm sorry Virgil. I'm so sorry I didn't notice earlier. Please, I want you to talk to me… Please don't leave me” he begged. 

 

Virgil felt shocked. He never realized that someone would care so much. Tears filled his eyes as he clung to Dorian and started to cry. 

 

“I promise. I'm so sorry Dorian….” he said as the two held each other. Maybe now things would finally be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done!!! Only the epilogue is left.


	4. Epilogue

Days passed, slowly turning to weeks since the day on the roof. It hadn't taken long for a couple of the others that Virgil had saved to realize about him as well. 

Patton had all but tackled him the first moment he saw Virgil. Apologies flew as well as tears from the short boy, as well as ones from both Logan and Roman. More tears had been shed from that day, but it only made a friendship blossom and grow stronger. 

With help from Dorian's parents, who were shocked and horrified when they began learning about everything, Virgil was able to be emancipated from his own parents, and ended up moving in with Dorian. Not everything was completely perfect.

It took a long time before some wounds healed for Virgil. It took even longer for him to feel safe being alone with knives or anything sharp. Thankfully this time though, he wasn't alone. 

\-----

“Whatcha doing love?” Dorian asked, wrapping his arms around his shorter lover. Virgil looked up to Dorian and smiled gently. 

“Just thinking is all” he said and looked outward towards their friends, who were cheering and waving excited. It had been graduation day, and everyone had been so excited. 

“Thank you….” Virgil said and Dorian looked down to his partner confused 

“For what?” he asked and watched as Virgil looked up to him. A small, genuine smile was placed on the pale boys face. His eyes sparkled with life that merely months ago had almost completely withered out.

“For saving me that day….. I would have never found happiness if you hadn't” he said and small tears filled Dorian's eyes. He shook his head and leaned down, kissing Virgil gently. 

“Never thank me for something like that. Besides, you saved us all first” he said. 

“Come on you two!!!!! We're going to get food!!!!” Roman shouted and Patton waved quickly to the two. Logan was simply shaking his head but smiling at his friends. 

“Ready for a new life?” Dorian asked as he moved and held his hand out for Virgil to take. Virgil stared at the hand and smiled before slipping his own hand into Dorian's. 

“Let's do this” he said and smiled as they left, walking towards their friends and the future that awaited them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!! Sorry if this last chapter was a bit of a drop, but I had fun with this. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a bit of a vent fic cause I've been in a funk


End file.
